::ANewCalling:: Insanitystar//Melodywind

[saskia]

She wanted so much to help her Clan in every way possible. With her head held high and stride long and full of purpous, Melodywind made her way in camp and straight to her leaders den. She was on a mission. She needed an apprentice. Most of all, she needed a friend. She wanted to speak to her leader about some of the seemingly meaningless dreams she has been having. She stepped up to the entrance of the Leaders Den and sucked in a breathe before, "Insanitystar?"

She then sat, and waited for her leader to answer in reply. She was desperate.

[Rika The Chair]

Insanitystar turned her emotionless gaze to Melodywind. Her hollow aqua eyes revealed nothing. She sat up from her current lying down position. She inhaled through her nose quietly. A calm and cold mew breathed through her mouth, " Yes, what is it? " Her body was relaxed, but yet it wasn't. Her silver fur glittered in her den, the sun hitting it at just the right angle. Her whole body got a burst of warmth from the sun's ray. But she didn't mind, nor did she care. She couldn't feel the difference between heat and cold. Like she couldn't feel the difference between joy and sorrow. Since she had given up on feelings long ago. Believing that they would just hold her back from being the best leader that she was mean't to be. But she had given the medicine cat credit for being able to pad into her den like it was nothing. Most of her clan mates asked for permission or was always too timid around her. Her brain didn't seem to mind. It recognized them as 'friends' so it was okay. As long as her brain didn't recognize them as 'enemies', then there usually wasn't any problems. " State your business, Melodywind. Do we need to send patrols out to look for herbs? Or perhaps you need some help gathering them? " Her voice was cold, but it was not to mean't to be taken as an insult or a compliment. Just as words and mews. [bg=4a7ea7][atrb=width,450,true] [atrb=border,0,true]

[saskia]

Upon entering the Leaders Den, Melodywind dipped her head in respect to her leader. She had nothing but respect for her leader. She held her head down for a moment before bringing it up to look Insanitystar in the eyes.

"I Am desperate." she sighed inwardly, unable to hide her stress and she searched Insanitystar's face for a sign of understanding or even pity in the least. "I am in need of a friend. On lesser accounts; an apprentice as well." She dipped her head again and waited for the answering reply.

She wasn't exactly sure if it was going to be the answer the wanted. She would take what she got.

[glow=red,2,300]::Melodywind::[/glow]

[Rika The Chair]

" I see. . Well, I'll have to look at the kits getting ready to be an apprentice. And I'll talk it over with you and some other cats. I would like to make sure everyone's opinion on it should be taken under consideration. Since the medicine cat apprentice holds the future of the clan's health and well-being in their paws. " She curled her tail around her body, raising her paw up to clean her face. She stopped after a few minutes. " Do you have anyone in mind particularly? Or do you need to take a closer look at the kits. . or maybe the apprentices as well. In case you don't see any cat you think would make a good medicine cat. " She slowly blinked her eyes, her pupils were slanted. But not because she was annoyed or anything. Her eyes just slanted her pupils at times. It made the rest of her eyes look rather big. Giving her a intimidating stare. She didn't wait for an answer to start speaking again. " But if there's no one you have in mind we might just have to wait. I know things like this take time to decide. " She stood and stretched, relaxing her muscles. She was slightly tensed it seemed. But nothing like stretching to get her body feeling better. Just because she didn't have much of an emotional feeling, her body still felt pain or stiffness. It seemed to be the only feeling she could feel since those nerves had not been shut down it seemed. I think it would be best if the medicine cat had an apprentice. It would put the clan to ease it seems. In case anything should happen and we don't have a medicine cat. But this clan is strong, so I don't think they have anything to worry about. Obviously she wasn't worried, since that wasn't a word in her feeling vocabulary. Hm. I should eat soon, some cats get afraid if I don't eat. She couldn't feel hunger either, so she had to be reminded regularly to eat. She didn't mind though. But in the Green-Leaf she could feel hunger. She knew the feeling but she just couldn't grasp it during the cruel Leaf-Bare. Perhaps it was because everyone was hungry and so it was common. But she didn't dwell on the thoughts of her emotions that were missing. She had to be more focused on the medicine cat's ordeal. She did agree that she should have a medicine cat, but she didn't want to just give the position away to some random kit. It had to be a kit she knew that the clan would disagree with that. Plus, the medicine cat had a right to choose. And she would respect Melodywind's opinion. Though it would be false respect, of course. But it would still be respect.

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[saskia]

[glow=red,2,300]::Melodywind::[/glow]

The old Medicine Cat took her leaders words strongly. She would nod her head occasionally as she listened intently to what was being said and when the leader was finally done, she spoke her mind.

"I do not have anyone in mind. I just know it is my duty to make sure if I ever am not here that the clan is in good hands when it comes to health. I would love to look over the kits about to be apprenticed. It would put my heart and mind to rest if I was able to see for myself who would be my next great successor. Starclan will show me the way Insanitystar." She took a deep breathe and dipped her head again to her leader. She meant no disrespec in her words. She wanted Insanitystar to understand her. She wanted to do great things for her clan.

[Rika The Chair]

" I understand. And I believe that you picking a successor is a very great idea and it's rather responsible as well. " She tried to make her words sound as tender and understanding as she possibly could. But she didn't know what they sounded like to be exact. So her tone was a mix between cold and cruel while being sweet and caring at the same time. Her eyes softened, she wanted to feel sympathy for the cat. But sadly, she couldn't. So she just made her whole body seem sympathetic. If she could have the emotion it would definitely be 'pity'. She knew the burden of having to be a high role and having to take successors. It was difficult because when you passed on, you had no idea what happened. The cat could turn evil and do bad for the clan. Another cat could overthrow them. Or they could have just been the wrong cat to choose for the job. But of course, she didn't feel worried or afraid. She just knew the thoughts were there. " You can take a gander at the kits whenever you need to. And you know where to find me if you have a cat in mind. Unless you would like me to come with you. Just in case you need another cat's perspective. Though I doubt that I would be a good choice. My opinions aren't really opinions as you know. They're more of words and rambling mews. Like what I'm currently saying. " She knew that most cats understood her nerve problems, but they could never grasp what it was like. She wanted to feel emotions, which gave her the emotion of longing. So she knew that at least she could feel some of them. But she only could feel the small emotions. She wanted to feel the happy ones too and the sad ones. Even the horribly painful ones. The only true emotion she ever felt was longing. Longing for a better personality. Longing to be a better leader. But it seemed that those feelings wanted to be shut down as well. She sighed, but it just sounded like a regular breath. It was supposed to. But yet, she just wanted a way to truly express herself without falling victim to her own disorder. But she didn't care at some points. In fact, it probably made her a better leader. Not having to take sides or to have opinions on anything. She just lead her clan to the best ability she could. Which was pretty well most of the time. She hadn't got into any serious war issues with other clans. But this was Leaf-Bare. And it was anyone's game it seemed. Fights could break out in a moments notice. And she knew that. But her lack of emotion already made her fearless on the battle field. [bg=4a7ea7][atrb=width,450,true] [atrb=border,0,true]